Where has the time gone?

The next couple of weeks around here are going to be busy celebrating (or dreading) various time milestones. I'm about the first, just kinda there on the second, and glad to celebrate the third.

The first one up is my 15 year class reunion and it is this weekend. Now, I don't know about you out there on the interwebs, but I don't look much like I did in high school nor have I really kept in touch with most of the people. In fact, most of them I only know bits and pieces about through either gossip passed on by my mother or through fa.ce.book. Since I tend to avoid mirrors for the most part, I took a look recently and realized that the picture of myself in my head which looks amazingly like I'm still 21, skinny, and have a line-free face is not correct. I'm far from skinny anymore, I look like I"m in my 30's, and the laugh lines are there right around the eyes. And I get to see many people from my graduating class on Sunday. Save me, please.

Next week is my birthday. I'll be 33 on the 8th. I'm mostly ambivalent about that one. I just keep thinking about how I thought my life would be at this age and coming to grips that just because I thought it would be one way, doesn't mean that life will actually go that way.

The 18th is my anniversary. I will have been married for 3 years. I'm happy to have married my husband and I'm happy with our life. Granted, children would enrich it, but at this point we haven't been blessed yet. I hope that next year will be different, but I am celebrating the life we have now.

Update on cursed

It appears it is a dirty throttlebody on P's car. I'm still listed as cursed, but the check engine light did go off.

I had to cancel my sono for tomorrow. I get to go to an off-site meeting for work that starts at 8. I was supposed to be at the doctor's at 8:30 with the sono at 11. Somehow I don't think these two things are going to work well together. So now it looks like it will be after vacation before I can go and get it done. This isn't ideal, but it is what we have to work with. On the other hand, it does mean that the ban has been lifted for now.

That's my pdate for now. I'm sure there will be more later.

Cursed?

My husband tells me I'm cursed when it comes to cars. I tend to have the worst luck with them. Current case in point: My car has a dying wheel bearing so it is parked until I can take it to the shop next week so I drive his to the bus stop. I drive it the less than a mile to the bus stop and the check engine light comes on. Turns out either it is something really easy to fix or something really bad. We're hoping for the really easy. The easy is cleaning the air intake valve or replacing the PCV valve. Bad is replacing the MAP sensor. While an easy fix, it is the more expensive fix, of course. Here's to hoping it was just a random occurrence and it will correct itself. That can happen, right? Please? I don't want to be cursed as bad luck for cars forever.

ICLW!

Hello and welcome to my corner of the internet. I'm April and I married my husband P almost 3 years ago. At that point in time, we threw out the condoms and started letting the chips fall where they may. I suffered a miscarriage in Jan. of 2008 at 6w, 3d. Since then, we've been trying to no avail.

Currently I'm waiting for my sonohystereogram next week. Previously we've had an HSG done which showed my left tube blocked and during which I managed to kick the doctor in the head. Grace is not my middle name. We also know there is a cyst on my left ovary and that because of the cyst, I have low FSH and high E2. It looks like I'm headed back towards clomid, but until the sono is done, nothing has been prescribed. So currently we are on the 3rd month of a break because apparently when one is trying to have a baby, my doctor forbids intercourse. Go figure!

Ten things about me

1. I'm afraid of snakes. Terrifed actually.
2. I'm going to the beach in August and I'm ridiculously excited about it.
3. I have never dyed my hair.
4. I prefer glasses to contacts and haven't worn contacts since high school.
5. I like corn on the cob.
6. My favorite flavor of ice cream is cookies and creme.
7. I'd rather sit by the ocean than by a pool. This explains the excitement about going to the beach.
8. I crochet, but don't know how to knit.
9. I love watching Dr. Who and have been watching previous seasons on Netflix on the Wii. It's almost an obsession at this point.
10. I'm a Gleek and have been re-watching Glee this summer as well.

Thanks for stopping by and I hope you'll come back again!

CD1!

I haven't even started the provera, but apparently the threat of it was enough to stir things into action. 20 days late, but at long last things have started.

The results are

Negative. I am not pregnant, which I already knew. They are calling in the prescriotion for provera and I'll start taking it tomorrow. Onwards, right?

Still no CD1

I'm now 17 days late. Tomorrow is the blood test to see if through some odd miracle, I am pregnant. I really wish they would have listened and given me the provera last week. But apparently rules are rules and since P and I were intimate a few days before the appointment, we had to wait a total of 10 days "just in case". Sigh.

To make life more fun, my mom and my sister are at my house for the week for a workshop near where I live. They don't know I'm late and I'm not about to tell them because I can already hear my mom on the phone telling everyone that she's going to be a grandma. This is the same woman who told me I should just go to the hospital and ask for a Haitian orphan, because they are just giving them away apparently.

Once I have results from tomorrow, I'll update at some point in time and fill everyone in. Wish me luck. Your choice on for what.

Results

E2 - 327 - too high because of cyst
FSH - 1.4 - too low because of cyst
TH - 4.09 - higher dose of thyroid medication prescribed

Left tube blocked. Cyst on left ovary. Right tube looks clear. Sonohysterogram to be scheduled once the bleeding fully begins. Still spotting at this point. If no period within 8 days, then I will go in for a blood test and if negative, then provera will be started. After my period, there will be another date with the dildo-cam tro see if the cyst has shrunk. At some point in the future, there may be a lap performed to see if there are any adhesions on the right tube and to see if that's what is causing the left to be blocked. The general thought is that I'll be back on my friend clomid soon. I think I'll ask if they give out happy pills with the clomid this time.

So no diagnosis yet, but it's not as bleak as it could be. Oh, and it still isn't CD1 yet so now I'm 11 days late.

10 days late

And a slight change! Houston, we have spotting and 3 negative pregnancy tests. Tomorrow I see Dr. Cool and get the results of my tests. I'll give an update again tomorrow.

7 days late

And still no sign of anything resembling a period. P wants me to test again in a couple of days since nothing has materialized yet. I think I'm just one of those lucky people who had their cycle messed up by having an HSG and it's just going to appear randomly and take me by surprise. It would be my luck you know?

Then again, maybe I used up all of my bad luck when I sliced the bottom of my toe on the radiator beside the bed trying to get out of the house on time for work. So now I have a nice big cut from said radiator on the bottom of my big toe. At least it's Friday and I don't have to get up early tomorrow. But I get to walk around an amusement park all day tomorrow. Somehow, I don't think it's going to be as fun as originally planned.

6 days late and a BFN

I broke down and tested this morning. It was negative. The last 5 days I've lived in a haze of hope. Yeah, I dared to hope. I hoped enough to actually buy a pregnancy test. There hasn't been one of those in my house in almost 2 years. And this morning, full of hope and sure I was going to see that second line, I did my thing and waited and saw only the contol line. So I took my shower thinking it just needed the time to finish processing. After all, the directions say it can take up to 10 monites for all results to appear. Yeah, when I was done showering (quickest shower ever I do think), it was still negative. I was fine drying my hair and getting dressed. But when I told P, the tears started and it took until I was halfway to work this morning for them to stop. I'm not sure what I was crying over, the loss of my hope, or the loss of his hope. Because it appears he had started to hope and think we had gotten lucky as well and hearing him admit that made me hurt even more. I had hurt my husband because I failed at this whole getting pregnant thing again. And this time we actually had almost a week to start to dream. I had thought about how to tell our parents. Yeah, that's how deep into the fantasy I had bought. I was starting to look forward to my cousin's baby shower next month because I could almost see mine as well. So no big news here. Just a pile of hurt and disappointment. I guess you could say it's all over but the bleeding at this point. That part of the negative still hasn't graced us with it's presence.