Places I fear to tread

I love to shop. Love, love love. Of course, I hate to shop for myself, but for others, it's so much fun. However, I have a love/hate relationship with baby sections. I love going and looking at all the adorable little clothes and accessories. I love picking out a cute outfit to purchase for a shower or as a gift for a baby. I hate the reminder that I have no need for these items. It is rubbing salt in the wound.

I hate to buy myself clothing or go to stores where my sizes are carried. When I was younger, I was much skinnier than I am now. Because of this, there is a person in my head that so does not match the exterior. I'm working on correcting that, but it is a slow process and I'm not getting there as fast as I would like. In fact, I tend to backslide more than I make actual progress. Suggestions on things to help that are not diet pills are welcome. I want to be skinny and happy with how I look again.

I dislike going to the RE's office. I know, I know. He's there to help us try to get pregnant, but right now I can't bring myself to want to even call to set up bloodwork. Right now it's a huge stumbling block for me. I need to get over it, and quickly as I have blood work coming up again in about 2 weeks followed by more blood work about a week later.

I don't know why I"m dwelling on things like this right now. I can't even blame clomid as I'm not on it at the moment. Maybe once this cycle is over and we start again I can move back towards my happy self.