A person I know from a message board had a stillborn daughter over the weekend. I have no idea how to reach out to her. She was a member of the ALI community before her daughter was born. She survived several miscarriages before she had her son. Then when she became pregnant with her daughter, I was thrilled for her. It was a surprise pregnancy, but everything was going well until the beginning of August. The baby was found to have severe polycystic kidney disease and was not expected to live long if she was born alive. Sadly, a month later she was born sleeping and her parents are devastated.
I want so badly to reach out to her, to know what to say, but I'm at a loss. I can't compare losing a child at 6 weeks of pregnancy to her loss of a child she felt kicking inside of her, that she had seen living on an ultrasound. How do I, someone who has never experienced a loss like this reach out without sounding callous?