It's been a week since the SA was dropped off according to the doctor's orders. We're still waiting. It seems like this wonderful land of IF is all about waiting. Just once I'd like to get an answer in less than 1 week or 4.
Today I noticed myself doing something. I've quit thinking of "when" for having a baby. It's now "if". This came about while sitting here in front of my computer looking around at the computer room. I was looking around and contemplating what color to paint the room. It's currently blue. All blue. Baby boy blue in fact. It was supposed to be the nursery. But since when we bought the house, we knew we were at least 2 or so years away from having additional kids so it became the computer room. The thought that came to mind was if we have a baby, I'll have to find a new place for my computer and all of the other junk that has migrated here over the years. Then it was if we have a baby we'll have to find a way to sound proof the young'un's room because it's right next door. Then it dawned on me, I wasn't thinking in terms of when, but if. This made me sad. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the coming holidays.
Speaking of holidays, we're hosting turkey day here at my house. I'm frantically cleaning the main part of the house and trying to keep what is clean the way that it is. I'm dreading the holidays this year. All of them. The first year after we got married, no one was asking when we were going to have kids because we were newlyweds. The next year, 1 or 2 people made comment. Now it's every family gathering and every holiday. It's enough to drive me to drink. And since there's no reason to worry about a baby since we didn't even bother trying this month I can drink all I want. Good thing that because at this point I think I may actually need it.
1 hour ago