In Melissa Ford's newest book, Measure of Love, we revisit with Rachael Goldman and see where her life has taken her since Life From Scratch.
Rachael is living with her ex husband Adam and becomes engaged during the course of the book. However, she is too scared to grab onto her happiness and finds herself meddling in the relationships of her friends and family, often to disastrous results. She does this with Lizbet and Emily's wedding plans and causes major problems between herself and her ex / future sister in law and herself. While she is well meaning with it, is it right? Does she make it right in your eyes when she asks Lizbet and Adam's mother to go and help Lizbet with her wedding planning since the dream wedding envisioned by Lizbet is what her mother wanted for Rachel?
Do you feel Rachel could have handled this in a different way?
After you answer my question, please click over to read the rest of the book club questions for Measure of Love. You can get your own copy of Measure of Love by Melissa Ford at bookstores including Amazon.
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I don't think it makes it right even though she did mean well, but I think it makes it easier to understand why she did what she did. Kinda a gray line though sometimes!
I think it is really hard when someone has good intentions to be upset with them, but that doesn't mean if they hurt us or meddle in others' business, especially ours, that it isn't frustrating, uncomfortable, painful and/or awkward.
Could Rachel have handled this in a different way? Absolutely, but (even though she is fictional character), then she might not be who she is (the woman that Adam loves/wants to remarry and so many others care so much about), wonderful qualities, quirks and weaknesses.
Absolutely, she could have been up front with everyone and avoided many misunderstandings. But she's not that kind of person - the one who calls people on their behavior. She's the good friend who tries to understand and make things right, but without making it painful for others by discussing it thoroughly. Meddling is what she would do. I guess that's one of the life lessons to be found - your intentions may be good, but if your communications are inadequate, it can all go very wrong.
In the end people got what they wanted, so that is good. And Rachel learned some things too.
I think intentions do matter, and Rachel had no ill-intentions. It's just that in trying to dig into her own psyche and figure out what was her core issue, she didn't approach the others in her life very mindfully.
So yes, if she'd been more conscious of her own issues, she'd have had less inclination to meddle in the affairs of her loved ones.
But once she did figure out herself, everything else untangled, too.
I think, in this case of Rachel's meddling, she did the right thing. Lisbeth didn't think her mom wanted anything to do with her wedding because she was ashamed of her & Anita didn't think Lisbeth would want her involved so stayed out of it. Without Rachel's meddling, neither would have learned the true feelings of the other...
I'm going to have to revisit this question when I have a bit more of the book under my belt! I'll be back! :)
Yes, in this particular case I think she did the right thing by mention it. While the mother and daughter misunderstood each other and didn't think the other one wanted to help, cared enough etc Rachel made that clear for them.
I have to agree with the others. Some of Rachel's meddling bothered me, but this was probably the least of her sins. ;) Maybe telling the NY Times reporter to talk to Lisbeth was a bit over the line -- but I think bringing Lisbeth & Anita together on the wedding planning front was a nice thing to do (and also got Anita out of her hair, lol) -- she knew what both of them wanted, but wouldn't admit to each other, and nudged them together.
It's so hard to know when you love someone when you're overstepping a line and when you're trying to help but your help falls flat. Because I do think there is a difference. My cousin is getting married soon, and -- to me -- overstepping a line would be making her dozens of button bouquets and then telling her that I made them for all the bridesmaids to carry down the aisle. I don't get to plan her wedding for her (as much as I really want to!). BUT I also think there have been times when I've offered to do something, not knowing where she has stood on an issue, and that is help that falls flat.
I probably would have been help-shy by the end and would have never tried the move of matching Lisbeth with her mother.
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