Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Lonely

I'm lonely. There, I've admitted it. I don't have many friends who live near me that I'm close to so I don't go out often. Most of the people I see frequently are either co-workers or dance moms as the Young'un has been dancing since she was tiny. But I don't feel comfortable talking to these people outside of the context in which I normally see them. I feel like an imposter to the moms as I'm not a full-time parent. I'm only a parent in the eyes of the world two evenings a week and every other weekend, even though I worry about her constantly and miss her all the time. As for my co-workers, I see them at work. After that, we don't really have anything in common.

My husband is working crazy hours and we rarely see each other. When he does get home, all he wants to do is complain about his day and mine seems inconsequential in comparison. In fact, he doesn't even ask about my day often. It just doesn't seem important to him because he's so wrapped up in his own problems.

It seems I tend to spend most of my time in my own company, watching tv with my dogs. They like to fight over who sits on the couch next to me. I just want something warm to cuddle with in the evenings. I'd prefer human companionship, but it isn't always possible most evenings.

I know I'm lucky that he comes home each evening, that he loves me and we do spend time together, usually on the weekends. But damn it, I'm lonely and sometimes I want to talk to someone too.

10 comments:

amiracle4us said...

I'm sorry hun you are feeling this way. I too go through these lonely days...I miss the days our friends were on our ground; childless and accessible. now even if I see them, it involves an hour convo that should be had in 10 minutes, but with kids bumping in and out it's hard. Here if you need to vent!

Heather said...

SQUEEZE! You know I adore you...and I get it.

Sigh. Wish we lived closer. Like next door...

Laura said...

I am going through the same feelings right now... I feel like there is something missing in my life right now, someone to talk to and confide in! I hope that changes for you soon.

tanyaslifejourney said...

Visiting from ICLW
I can so relate to this post. I am also very lonely. I work from home and my husband works very long hours so I find myself alone much of the week. My friends are all busy with their own lives and kids and I feel very left out... I wish there were something we could do to ease the loneliness...

embracingtherain said...

Hello from ICLW! Sorry you were feeling so lonely. Hope that things have gotten better for you.

JustHeather said...

*hugs* I'm sorry you're feeling so lonely. I know that feeling, especially since my family lives half a world away and my few friends I do have are all busy with kids (I'm the odd one out, but not for lack of trying). It's really hard when we don't have much of anyone to talk to.
Have you tried telling your husband how you feel and express to him what you need? Not in a confrontational way, but just talking to him (write a letter if you need to). Guys definitely can't read our minds and I know it helps sometimes with my guy.
Hang in there! You are not alone.

Carmela said...

Aw, so sad you're feeling lonely, but at leat you have blog friends and you have space on here to talk about anything. Sending you lots and lots of *Hugs.*

Happy ICLW!
Carmela #77

aprilvak said...

I feel like an imposter too, since I'm only a parent four days a week, and not a 'real' parent then. Even when nobody says anything, I still feel it. It's a hard thing to cope with. I hope you're doing a little better now.

Sarah said...

I am sorry you feel this way.

Can you take a cooking class or something like that once a week to get you out of the house and meeting new people?

ICLW #68

Anonymous said...

I know exactly how you feel! I'm a stepmom to 2 boys, and battling with infertility. I also feel like an imposter in mom circles, but since I'm trying to be a mom I also don't belong in non-mom circles. It's nice to find your blog!