Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Lonely

I'm lonely. There, I've admitted it. I don't have many friends who live near me that I'm close to so I don't go out often. Most of the people I see frequently are either co-workers or dance moms as the Young'un has been dancing since she was tiny. But I don't feel comfortable talking to these people outside of the context in which I normally see them. I feel like an imposter to the moms as I'm not a full-time parent. I'm only a parent in the eyes of the world two evenings a week and every other weekend, even though I worry about her constantly and miss her all the time. As for my co-workers, I see them at work. After that, we don't really have anything in common.

My husband is working crazy hours and we rarely see each other. When he does get home, all he wants to do is complain about his day and mine seems inconsequential in comparison. In fact, he doesn't even ask about my day often. It just doesn't seem important to him because he's so wrapped up in his own problems.

It seems I tend to spend most of my time in my own company, watching tv with my dogs. They like to fight over who sits on the couch next to me. I just want something warm to cuddle with in the evenings. I'd prefer human companionship, but it isn't always possible most evenings.

I know I'm lucky that he comes home each evening, that he loves me and we do spend time together, usually on the weekends. But damn it, I'm lonely and sometimes I want to talk to someone too.