A fair warning about this post. I'm about to rant about my husband and our differing views on infertility. I love my husband dearly. However, he really does seem to know the best way to push all the buttons that will spark a fight. This isn't something he does often, but he did manage it this weekend.
Did you know that I am obsessive about infertility because I have researched it? I didn't realize that wanting to know what was going on in my own body and why things weren't working right was a bad thing. I'm also apparently all consumed with wanting a child and this stress MUST be what is causing the main problem. Apparently a low sperm count and poor morphology doesn't contribute to the problem at all. Go figure.
Apparently, I also need therapy because I'm unhappy that we aren't able to have children. I guess I must have missed the rainbows and puppies stages of all of this. Did someone see a unicorn around? I hear they fart glitter on us infertiles and that will solve all of our unhappiness.
I should also ignore the fact that time is running out for us to have children. He actually pulled out examples of celebrities having babies into their late 40's. Yep, he went there. Add in the fact his cousin's family is being built through IVF (which he thought was actually IUI) and everything worked out the first time with twins and 3 frozen embryos to boot. I admit to being jealous that it worked, but I also listened and understood everything when they were telling us about the 5 IUIs including 3 rounds of injectibles and that was after several rounds of clomid. But he thinks we have all the time in the world and that 1 round of any kind of assisted fertilization is going to work perfectly and give us the family of our dreams.
He's also decided that since clomid does such evil bad things to my brain (and he does have a valid point on that one because clomid does make me crazy) that if the RE prescribes it, he doesn't want me to take it. So he's now an RE, but doesn't know the difference between an IUI or an IVF.
Add in the fact he was spouting off about how I'm too stressed and stress make people infertile and how I shouldn't be reading blogs or looking things up so that I can be informed about my health, it ended up being one heck of a blow-up.
The end result is that he now wants me to tell him what I need him to do to help me. When I said that I would appreciate help around the house as it would ease some of my stress, I was told he meant emotionally. Go figure. I said coming to the appointments would be helpful as I hated feeling alone at Dr. Cool's office. That was shot down because he doesn't have the time for that kind of stuff unless I can schedule after business hours. So essentially, he wants things to continue as they are, but he wants a pat on the head because he offered to help me even though he shot down all the things I said would help me.
In conclusion, I feel like men are from Mars in the infertility world. I know there are some wonderful men blogging about it out there. I have shared your sites with my husband, but he doens't feel like they are what he needs at this point. So we continue to muddle through and I'll continue to research, read blogs, and seek support from the ALI community.
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