ICLW

Welcome to my little home here on the internet. I'm April. I'm married to P and I have an 11 year old step-daughter, the Young'Un. We also have 3 dogs - Daisy, Bruno, & Indy.

We are currently on a break, but please feel free to poke around and learn more about us.

Thanks for stopping by!

Bitterness

I'm finding myself becoming bitter and unhappy.

I'm bitter that I'm not pregnant.
I'm bitter that the chances of having a baby in 2011 is nearing it's close.
I'm bitter that the girls in my row are getting married and are planning their lives and have made their plans for how they will build their families and will most likely be able to do just exactly that.
I'm bitter that my husband won't consider a conversation about adoption and tells me that he's convinced we'll have a biological child and that starting the adoption process will be pointless.
I'm bitter that our insurance won't cover more than just testing.
I'm bitter that my husband is hiding his head under a rock about the fact that a low sperm count with poor morphology usually means that it's that much harder for him to get me pregnant.
I'm bitter that we don't have the money easily at hand to pursue treatments now and that we'll be saving for at least a year or more before he's willing to consider even an IUI.

I'm just bitter and unhappy. I don't want to be, but right now I am.

How do others find their way out of the black and unhappiness of infertility?

When?

When will it be my turn? I'm being lapped yet again. Friends who got pregnant right around the time I got married are in labor with their second. Other friends who married after we did are expecting their second. Sometimes it feels as though we'll never make it over the wall.