Happy birthday to me?

Yesterday was my birthday.  I turned 35.  It was a good birthday yesterday.  Today, it all went straight to hell.

I had my follow-up with Dr. Cool and his merry band of medical students and fellows.  The end result is that he recommends IVF because we had a bad SA once 2 years ago and my progesterone was low & my FSH was high once two years ago.  We're now considered both male & female factor, even though all other numbers have been fine in subsequent tests.  The only good news is that he doesn't recommend clo.mid at all.  Thank goodness for small miracles.  I'll take those where I can find them.

I'm in shock and have cried a lot of tears this afternoon.  He uses ARC for most of his patients.  This would seem to be wonderful at first look until the fact that any woman that has had a miscarriage cannot be funded through their main programs and can only do a fertility loan through them.  I was actually excited about the fact that this could happen until I found the application that listed their requirements on it. Then the little bubble of hope popped.

P spent some time looking around and wants to think about grants and loans which is fine.  I just feel completely and utterly discouraged at this point.  I had hoped that we would have gotten unexplained and told to have lots of fun in the bedroom and that IVF would only be a possibility if that didn't work.

We'll probably spend quite a bit of time over the next several days talking about what are options are and what we want to do.  I'm sure there will be many tears and even more wine.

I don't want this to end without a child, but I'm starting to wonder if it isn't in the cards for us.  I'm wondering if one day we'll decide that we aren't going to try anymore and that there will be no babies to call me Mom, that I'll be child-free.

Results part 5?

We have the SA results.  And the numbers were better than last time.

34 million for the count, 63% for motility, and 13% for morphology.

Now, I just need to hear back from the nurses to schedule the follow-up and we'll finally be ready to see what the next steps are.

I might be a mom yet.

3 weeks? Really?

I see it's been 3 weeks since I last posted.  I swear it wasn't intentional.  I've just been busy and didn't remember to do something as simple as post.  Granted, it's been that way a lot in the last few months, but this time I promise.  I"ll post more.  Really.

P has his SA on Tuesday.  Finally, more progress.  Starting over from the beginning is not my idea of fun.  Of course, him taking several months to schedule his appointment is not my idea of fun either, but he is finally doing it so that is something.

I had a couple of phone interviews for jobs, but nothing came of them so I'm still applying and hoping.  I am making use of the time off though.  I'm making appointments for things that I never really have time for, like the eye doctor or the dentist because when I was working, I didn't have the time to take and the weekends are usually booked with the activities for the Young'un. However, I actually have time so I'm making use of it.

That's really all that is going on here.  Everyone here is fine.  Once I have the results, I'll share and once the follow-up appointment is completed, I'll share that as well.

ICLW

Welcome ICLWers!  I'm April and this is my little corner of the internet.  I'm married to P and have a 13 year old step-daughter, the Young'un.  Please feel free to poke around and stay a while. For a quick introduction, here's 10 things about me!

1. I love to crochet.  Adore it.
2. I play violin and teach it one night a week.
3. I was recently laid off from my job, but I'm actually okay with this.
4. I have 2 dogs, Indy and Bruno.
5. I'm an avid reader and go through at least 2 books a week.
6. My favorite shows are How I Met Your Mother, NCIS, Bones, Dr. Who, & Glee.
7. I love to bake, but refuse to bake in the summer.  It's too hot.
8. I'm at the beach on vacation this week and I'm loving the break from reality.
9. My favorite place to go is Dis.ney World.  To me it really is the happiest place on Earth.
10. I'm re-reading the whole Harry Potter series for an unknown number of time because I love it.

SHG & numbers

Today was not a pleasant day in the stirrups.  Today I had an SHG and a Fem-View.  The results were wonderful and better than I had hoped to receive.  The process to get there, not so much.

After arriving at the clinic and getting the expected negative pregnancy test, I then whiled away 2 hours at the hospital and then returned for the next stage of the program.  This was a date with the ever popular dildo-cam.  After determining that there wasn't going to be dinner, flowers, or even a drink before having my intimate encounter, I laid back, put my feet up, and then spent the next 45 minutes in great discomfort. 

I was not prepared for that at all.  After all, the HSG barely hurt.  It just resulted in embarrassment from kicking the doctor in the head.  I do actually feel bad about that, really I do.  Okay, only a little bit bad after today.

After a very uncomfortable ultrasound where the nurse mentions how she didn't realize my uterus was so retroverted, the nurse practitioner came in and the fun began.  First the speculum didn't want to fit properly.  That was fun.  The after that was done and the catheter in, the pain began.  It was not fun.  There was pain, pressure, and quite a lot of embarrassment.  But the results were good for the SHG.  No scare tissue, no polyps, no fibroids, and a nice good lining.  YAY!!!!! 

Then the Fem-View began.  This added the fun of air and saline being pushed through the lady bits and added the addition of a male drug rep who kept requesting for everything to be shot through again so he could see it on the ultrasound.  He also kept saying that I shouldn't be feeling anything while they were doing the test.  My reply was something along the lines of "So says the person who isn't having it done.".  The NP and the nurse both laughed.  The drug rep was not amused.

The end result of the Fem-View (which saved me from another HSG) is that both tubes are clear.  Dr. Cool gave me an A+ when he came in to review the results with me.  In addition, I got my blood work numbers from last week.  Estrogen - 5.5, FSH - 439, Lh - 1.8, prolactin - 16.5.  All are within normal amounts and he is pleased.

The next step is for P to go and have another SA done.  He's calling on Monday to set up his appointment.

This time, barring unforeseen circumstances like say, ear surgery, we might just have a chance to start treatments and maybe have a baby.  Just maybe.

Back in the stirrups

We started back yesterday. And by starting, I mean I spent almost 2 hours at the clinic to see the doctor for 5 minutes, his fellow for 10 minutes, and the nurse for closer to a half an hour. He keeps talking endo to me, but there's no evidence of me having endo. Right now, the plan is to re-do all of the initial testing, but instead of an HSG, he wants to do a Fem View in conjunction with an SHG (I guess he remembers me kicking him in the head), day 3 & 21 testing, and another SA on the husband. After that, we look to see the results and go from there. He's talking injectibles possibly. I'm hoping for no clo.mid because y'all, that shit sucks. So in around two weeks, I'll get myself to the lab and away we go. Maybe this time there will be a baby?

Kitchen remodel

We're remodelling our kitchen and it sucks. I can't cook, there's no water in the kitchen because we have no sink, and the table is covered with stuff that belongs elsewhere. I also have trouble seeing the finished project in my head, though thankfully my husband does. So far the house from hell has been exactly that. Some of the things we've found have been very scary and concerning because they were things we didn't know existed and were buried under 2 or 3 layers of wall. The worst was an active outlet that had stripped wires.

I'll post pictures once we get done to show how it changed. For now, please think of me and if you're willing, send wine. I need it for this one.