ICLW

Welcome ICLWers!  I'm April and this is my little corner of the internet.  I'm married to P and have a 13 year old step-daughter, the Young'un.  Please feel free to poke around and stay a while. For a quick introduction, here's 10 things about me!

1. I love to crochet.  Adore it.
2. I play violin and teach it one night a week.
3. I was recently laid off from my job, but I'm actually okay with this.
4. I have 2 dogs, Indy and Bruno.
5. I'm an avid reader and go through at least 2 books a week.
6. My favorite shows are How I Met Your Mother, NCIS, Bones, Dr. Who, & Glee.
7. I love to bake, but refuse to bake in the summer.  It's too hot.
8. I'm at the beach on vacation this week and I'm loving the break from reality.
9. My favorite place to go is Dis.ney World.  To me it really is the happiest place on Earth.
10. I'm re-reading the whole Harry Potter series for an unknown number of time because I love it.

SHG & numbers

Today was not a pleasant day in the stirrups.  Today I had an SHG and a Fem-View.  The results were wonderful and better than I had hoped to receive.  The process to get there, not so much.

After arriving at the clinic and getting the expected negative pregnancy test, I then whiled away 2 hours at the hospital and then returned for the next stage of the program.  This was a date with the ever popular dildo-cam.  After determining that there wasn't going to be dinner, flowers, or even a drink before having my intimate encounter, I laid back, put my feet up, and then spent the next 45 minutes in great discomfort. 

I was not prepared for that at all.  After all, the HSG barely hurt.  It just resulted in embarrassment from kicking the doctor in the head.  I do actually feel bad about that, really I do.  Okay, only a little bit bad after today.

After a very uncomfortable ultrasound where the nurse mentions how she didn't realize my uterus was so retroverted, the nurse practitioner came in and the fun began.  First the speculum didn't want to fit properly.  That was fun.  The after that was done and the catheter in, the pain began.  It was not fun.  There was pain, pressure, and quite a lot of embarrassment.  But the results were good for the SHG.  No scare tissue, no polyps, no fibroids, and a nice good lining.  YAY!!!!! 

Then the Fem-View began.  This added the fun of air and saline being pushed through the lady bits and added the addition of a male drug rep who kept requesting for everything to be shot through again so he could see it on the ultrasound.  He also kept saying that I shouldn't be feeling anything while they were doing the test.  My reply was something along the lines of "So says the person who isn't having it done.".  The NP and the nurse both laughed.  The drug rep was not amused.

The end result of the Fem-View (which saved me from another HSG) is that both tubes are clear.  Dr. Cool gave me an A+ when he came in to review the results with me.  In addition, I got my blood work numbers from last week.  Estrogen - 5.5, FSH - 439, Lh - 1.8, prolactin - 16.5.  All are within normal amounts and he is pleased.

The next step is for P to go and have another SA done.  He's calling on Monday to set up his appointment.

This time, barring unforeseen circumstances like say, ear surgery, we might just have a chance to start treatments and maybe have a baby.  Just maybe.

Back in the stirrups

We started back yesterday. And by starting, I mean I spent almost 2 hours at the clinic to see the doctor for 5 minutes, his fellow for 10 minutes, and the nurse for closer to a half an hour. He keeps talking endo to me, but there's no evidence of me having endo. Right now, the plan is to re-do all of the initial testing, but instead of an HSG, he wants to do a Fem View in conjunction with an SHG (I guess he remembers me kicking him in the head), day 3 & 21 testing, and another SA on the husband. After that, we look to see the results and go from there. He's talking injectibles possibly. I'm hoping for no clo.mid because y'all, that shit sucks. So in around two weeks, I'll get myself to the lab and away we go. Maybe this time there will be a baby?

Kitchen remodel

We're remodelling our kitchen and it sucks. I can't cook, there's no water in the kitchen because we have no sink, and the table is covered with stuff that belongs elsewhere. I also have trouble seeing the finished project in my head, though thankfully my husband does. So far the house from hell has been exactly that. Some of the things we've found have been very scary and concerning because they were things we didn't know existed and were buried under 2 or 3 layers of wall. The worst was an active outlet that had stripped wires.

I'll post pictures once we get done to show how it changed. For now, please think of me and if you're willing, send wine. I need it for this one.

Advocacy Day

Advocacy Day is next month. This is something I want to do so badly, but I don't know if I can do it. I'm not a blogger with a large following. I'm not a high powered or high profile person. I'm an administrative assistant. I live in a state where I'm lucky to get testing covered under insurance. It will even cover drugs or surgery to fix infertility problems. But it doesn't cover IUIs, IVF, or any drugs associated with IVF. This is why I want to go and have my voice heard. States right next to me cover both IVF and IUIs completely.

I want to be my own advocate. I want my voice to be heard. But my fear is that the legislators for my state won't listen. What if I'm not good enough for them to care? What if they really and truly don't ever care about the Family Building Act or infertility? What if we are never recognized?

So this is my conundrum. If you have gone to Advocacy Day before, how did you feel both while speaking with the legislators and after? Did it help any in your home state? Please tell me about your experiences.

Back in the stirrups soon

We have a date for our return to the RE. My consulation appointment on on Apr. 2nd. Since it's been over a year, I have to start at the beginning. I'm okay with this. So back in to see Dr. Cool I will go and hopefully there will be options and we will get pregnant and have a live take home baby at the end of it all.

I'm guessing it will mean clo.mid again and I'm not looking forward to that at all because clo.mid makes me crazy. P will have another round of SAs and probably a trip to the urologist if the numbers are as bad as last time. He never did go back a second time.

So we're heading back and hoping for our chance at a miracle.

The weekend

It was a long weekend for me, but a painful weekend. Originally, I was going to post on Sunday about how even at Tar.get, I had trouble finding stationary. That writing people a letter is a dying art and is becoming a thing of the past.

Then we got the call. The call that the ex-wife was in labor and the new baby would be arriving soon. In that moment, my heart stopped again and the pain in my heart that has been healing for 6 months had the scab ripped off in one quick move, so quick I almost missed the blood. The baby has arrived, a healthy baby girl. The Young'un is dealing with it okay, but ev eryone was still in the hospital for at least another 36 hours because of the time of birth. That may change once the reality of a newborn is home.

I'm doing okay, better than I thought I would. It hurts. I'm jealous. I can't avoid this baby as I take the kiddo home after dance twice a week. All I can do is pray that one day I'll have my own.