We're back!

I've been kinda MIA for a while. Part of it was because we ran away to Disney World for a week. I have pictures, but I"m still debating if I"m going to put one up here on the blog or not.

Part of the break was because I needed to distance myself from blogging and complaining for a bit. Ironic since this tends to be the place that I vent my feeling most often. However, I missed talking and sharing with everyone so I'm back. I'm even going to do the August ICLW. I was kinda shocked to realize I hadn't done one since April. I guess this means I really need to get back in the swing of things, right?

So vacation was wonderful, the return to work was not so wonderful, and today is CD1. But it missed vacation and now P and I will start talking about when we start trying again. The surgery for my ear should be happening sometime in the next couple of months so I'll be able to start booking appointments with Dr. Cool again without worrying about surgery interrupting everything and possibly costing us a cycle.

I promise I will do better and will start posting more. Now that summer is beginning to wind to a close (even though the 90+ degree temperatures tell me otherwise), I'm looking forward to all of the Young'un's activities starting up again. It turns out, I get bored without something to do most nights of the week. Go figure.

I hope everyone is well. We're doing fine here too.

Day camp day 13

Okay, so I really kind of suck at this whole day camp blogging gig, but I'm trying. Actually, I haven't really been trying to blog. I'm trying to get through to vacation in 7 days because dammit, I NEED a vacation. I envy those in other countries that actually get more than 2 weeks of vacation. Because the US tends to be a bit miserly with time off, I have to ration my days to an extreme extent and use either 5 or 6 days for the "big" vacation in the summer and use the remaining days throughout the year on an as needed basis. This actually does segue into the point of today's assignment - Day 13 – Tell us about the best job you ever had, and the worst. Do you ever blog or read blogs while at work? Do you ever quote or reference blogs while at work?

The best and worse job I ever had was actually the same job. I worked as the office manage for 2 parking garages. For the longest time, there were 3 of us who had worked together for years and we had everything running smoothly and had lots of down time in the office and we were more like a family. Then my bosses both left and a new GM came in and a new boss at my office started. The new office boss was fine and we still had a good working relationship and everything ran smoothly. The new GM was not so good. After several changes for the bad, my job became a source of stress and began making me miserable. Two years ago, I resigned from the position with the blessing of my husband and within a couple of months found my current position.

As for blogs, I do read them at work and I do talk about them with my husband, but I don't quote or reference them at work. I also frequently blog from work. In fact, I'm writing this one between e-mails and projects today.


Read more: 31 Days of Blog Juice at Creating Motherhood http://creatingmotherhood.com/2011/06/28/summer-camp/#ixzz1RzQ0CFcF

Blogging Day Camp Day 6 / Day 3 - Last time I tried soemthng new

Day 6 – When was the last time you tried something new? What was it and what was the result? Have you ever done something just so that you could blog about it?

I've spent a portion of today contemplating this question and the truth is I'm not usually one for trying new things. I did blog about some new music I discovered a couple of weeks ago, but that's about it for new things I've tried. Even then it really wasn't a stretch because I enjoy that type of music already.

What this tells me is that I've fallen into the proverbial rut and I need to go out and try something new and different, be it a new way of fixing my hair, a different color of polish for my toe nails (I tend to wear either pink or lavender), or even something really crazy like a new food. I need to push myself to try new things or else I will stagnate as a person and I don't want to do that.

Read more: 31 Days of Blog Juice at Creating Motherhood http://creatingmotherhood.com/2011/06/28/summer-camp/#ixzz1RLTk3WH9

Summer camp day 5 / day 2 (for me)

Day 5 -What do you prefer to do on your birthday?

On my birthday, I like to spend it with friends and family at a party for me (yes, secretly I am a 13 year old girl at heart) and to go out to dinner for seafood. Normally, this isn't quite what happens.

Most of my friends and family are fairly far-flung so there is no party. My husband isn't one for thinking of something like this to plan for me, but he appreciates it when I do it for him or for the Young'un as I plan parties for both of them. I haven't had a cake in years unless I buy it for myself. Last year was a cupcake with a candle in it that I bought for myself because it was my birthday and dammit, I wanted cake of some kind. Because my birthday and anniversary are only 10 days apart, we do 1 dinner to celebrate both of these so it's less of a birthday celebration and more of a general going out to a nice dinner kind of thing.

This year, we're going to Disney World a couple of weeks before my birthday. I've already informed my husband that we will be celebrating my birthday at Disney and that I want a cake. We'll see how it all pans out when we head off there in 15 days. (Not that I'm counting or anything)

Read more: 31 Days of Blog Juice at Creating Motherhood http://creatingmotherhood.com/2011/06/28/summer-camp/#ixzz1RFY44PIO

What has most surprised you about being an adult? What have you learned about yourself through blogging?

Today is Day 4 at Calliope's Summer Blogging Camp. I'm a bit late to the party so I'm starting on Day 4. Today's assignment is What has most surprised you about being an adult? What have you learned about yourself through blogging?

The thing that has surprised me the most about being an adult is how little I actually feel like I'm an adult. Somedays I really expect someone to show up at my house and ask for my adult card, if I had such theoretical card. I pay bills, have a mortgage, have car payments, responsibilities, all that wonderful adult stuff, but I still feel like a kid playing dress-up most days. Yet other days I feel

As a blogger, I've learned that I'm a very bitter infertile lady most days. Yes, there are times when I'm not bitter and things are all puppies and rainbows. Sadly, most of the time I'm wallowing in pity and wishing for what I don't yet have. This is what I've learned about myself as a blogger so far. It also gives me a goal to change so that I'm not always such a bitter person.

Read more: 31 Days of Blog Juice at Creating Motherhood http://creatingmotherhood.com/2011/06/28/summer-camp/#ixzz1REk6wBIu

Theme Song Thursday

A while ago, Heather tried to start up Theme Song Thursday. Sadly, it didn't take off, but it does cross my mond frequently. Below is the link to the Mumford & Sons song "Little Lion Man". I've only recently found out about this badn though they have been around for a few years. Yes, I do tend to be behind the times. They played on the Grammys and I found them 3 weeks ago. However, right now they are one of the groups I'm listening to a lot. This song is a reminder to me that if I'm not careful, I can hurt those that are closest to me in this journey through IF. So, what's in you? What's your theme song this week?

Little Lion Man

Men really are from Mars

A fair warning about this post. I'm about to rant about my husband and our differing views on infertility. I love my husband dearly. However, he really does seem to know the best way to push all the buttons that will spark a fight. This isn't something he does often, but he did manage it this weekend.

Did you know that I am obsessive about infertility because I have researched it? I didn't realize that wanting to know what was going on in my own body and why things weren't working right was a bad thing. I'm also apparently all consumed with wanting a child and this stress MUST be what is causing the main problem. Apparently a low sperm count and poor morphology doesn't contribute to the problem at all. Go figure.

Apparently, I also need therapy because I'm unhappy that we aren't able to have children. I guess I must have missed the rainbows and puppies stages of all of this. Did someone see a unicorn around? I hear they fart glitter on us infertiles and that will solve all of our unhappiness.

I should also ignore the fact that time is running out for us to have children. He actually pulled out examples of celebrities having babies into their late 40's. Yep, he went there. Add in the fact his cousin's family is being built through IVF (which he thought was actually IUI) and everything worked out the first time with twins and 3 frozen embryos to boot. I admit to being jealous that it worked, but I also listened and understood everything when they were telling us about the 5 IUIs including 3 rounds of injectibles and that was after several rounds of clomid. But he thinks we have all the time in the world and that 1 round of any kind of assisted fertilization is going to work perfectly and give us the family of our dreams.

He's also decided that since clomid does such evil bad things to my brain (and he does have a valid point on that one because clomid does make me crazy) that if the RE prescribes it, he doesn't want me to take it. So he's now an RE, but doesn't know the difference between an IUI or an IVF.

Add in the fact he was spouting off about how I'm too stressed and stress make people infertile and how I shouldn't be reading blogs or looking things up so that I can be informed about my health, it ended up being one heck of a blow-up.

The end result is that he now wants me to tell him what I need him to do to help me. When I said that I would appreciate help around the house as it would ease some of my stress, I was told he meant emotionally. Go figure. I said coming to the appointments would be helpful as I hated feeling alone at Dr. Cool's office. That was shot down because he doesn't have the time for that kind of stuff unless I can schedule after business hours. So essentially, he wants things to continue as they are, but he wants a pat on the head because he offered to help me even though he shot down all the things I said would help me.

In conclusion, I feel like men are from Mars in the infertility world. I know there are some wonderful men blogging about it out there. I have shared your sites with my husband, but he doens't feel like they are what he needs at this point. So we continue to muddle through and I'll continue to research, read blogs, and seek support from the ALI community.